


Fix Me

by ZarryFTZouis



Series: Chrissy's Oneshots [63]
Category: One Direction (Band), Radio 1 RPF if you squint
Genre: (College 1D), (had to say that), Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Dark, BLAZE IT WITH ZOUIS, Crossdressing Louis, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Porn With Plot, Recreational Drug Use, Sad and Happy, Sad with a Happy Ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-04
Updated: 2014-07-04
Packaged: 2018-02-05 15:12:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,010
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1822960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ZarryFTZouis/pseuds/ZarryFTZouis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And I'd rip it out if that would make you feel it more,<br/>And I know you hate to watch me pout,<br/>And tear it off and scream it out,<br/>I, I know that even though you're breaking,<br/>You'll get sick and terrified."</p><p>- Fix Me by Marianas Trench</p>
            </blockquote>





	Fix Me

**Author's Note:**

> Felt like writing this? Warning: abusive. (if the tag wasn't enough)

  Louis met Zayn at a drugstore.

  Well, this isn't how you usually start a love story but Louis is a shitty writer, who's a good person.

  It was in January, few days after New Years Day, and of course one of his (many) sisters had to go down with a fever. Since he was the only person who could drive and his mum had to take care of Lottie, he was sort of volunteered to get the med.

  He was stood in front of the shelf-full of medicines, deciding which one was the best for his sister when someone bumped into him. It was quarter to midnight so Louis wasn't expecting company. He'd half a mind to tell the newcomer to piss off, at least until he saw the person.

  Louis is a small lad so seeing the person was near six feet with gorgeous caramel-coloured eyes and cheekbones and jawline so sharp they made him look like a fucking Greek statue wasn't really a surprise. And fuck, his eyes were framed by thick, long lashes that made him want to reach out and touch them. He peaked down (not the dick area!) and saw that there was spiraling ink on his forearm.

  "Shite, sorry!" His accent was heavy, like he was from the northern parts of England, with something else. "I'm so clumsy."

  "S'alright, things happen," Louis thanked his lucky stars the new hottie had deep voice, which he loved so much. "Was going to the check-out anyways. My sister's sick so I'm being a good older brother."

  "Well, I'm here to get my fags," he flashed a devilish smile. "Didn't expect to run into someone pretty like you."  

  Louis was blushing, he could feel the heat rushing to his cheeks and well, he felt stupid.

  "I gotta get going, so..."

  "Okay."

  "Okay," Louis pressed back the urge to ask for a mobile number.

  "Name's Zayn, by the way.

  Next second, Zayn was gone from his view.

  About a week later, Niall called Louis, saying that he was throwing a house party.

  Of course, being the party-person he was, Louis said yes.

  That was how he ended up in the crowed hall, standing alone. He'd a cup of draft beer he got from a girl who was seconds away from flashing her tits. He felt idiotic for hoping Zayn would show up, like, Niall worked his Irish magic to somehow manifest the lad.

  Apparently, his wish was granted.

  Louis wasn't a smoker but at parties, he never says no to free pot.

  So when he made way to the garden full of teenagers (they were all in college, maybe a handful in university) and found a certain lad with dark eyes, he did a double-take. It was late at night, in  _January_ , but Zayn was wearing a black leather jacket that left his forearms on display. There were more tattoos on display. Louis could make out the "ZAP" tattoo near his elbows and dear God, the smoke coming out of the taller lad's mouth should be nears own.

  "Fancy meetin' you here," Zayn greeted him lazily, puffing out another cloud. "Didn't get your name last time."

  "Louis," this time, Louis' voice didn't sound so breathless. "Niall knows you?"

  "He's my best friend's boyfriend so yeah," Louis didn't know he was standing so close to Zayn, their chests barely an inch apart. "Tell me, Louis. Where do you keep your luscious bum hidden?"

  Louis blushed again that time. He blamed the pot for making Zayn say such bold statement. Or maybe that was intentional.

  "Guess you'll find out."

  "Can I kiss you?" Zayn didn't wait, he just took another hit and crashed his lips upon Louis', which were forming a silent "o", making it easy for Zayn to transfer the smoke. Louis just melted into the shotgun, knowing this wasn't a proper kiss but liked it anyways. It was a lip-on-lip contact, for fuck's sake. After the smoke was gone, Zayn kept their lips locked together, moving perfectly together in a slow rhythm. Louis didn't stop it when Zayn's large hands got to his arse, giving it a squeeze. It should matter that there were half a dozen other people but that made it hotter.

  Eventually, Zayn pulled away from the kiss.

  "See you around," Zayn said cheekily before disappearing again.

 

- 

 

  Louis didn't see Zayn again until mid-August, for his Cambridge uni orientation shite.

  Zayn's hair was perfectly coiffed into a quiff, almost like the guy who introduced himself as Nick and the tour guide, and when his caramel-coloured eyes met Louis' light blue ones, his lips twisted into a smirk.

  "As I was saying," the Nick guy noticed a bloke got into the group, like it was acceptable to be late. "We have dormitories, split into four different wings.  **(A/N Dunno anything about he actual Cambridge uni campus so this is made up)**  I double as the DJ for the first wing so if you have a party, lemme know. And the new guy, bother telling us your name?"

  "Zayn, but you won't need it later."

  After the orientation tour, Louis grabbed Zayn, literally grabbed him by his wrist, and pressed him to a wall, kissing the life out of him. Zayn, apparently, didn't like that. He flipped them around and slotted his leg between Louis' thighs, then nipped at his lips, his senses invaded by Zayn's spicy cologne and stale odour of smokes.

  "Hi," Zayn pulled away, his arms braced on either sides of Louis' shoulders. "We meet again."

  And he walked away.

  That night, Louis checked his (too tight on the arse) skinnys and found a note with a number scribbled on it.

   _Call me when you're lonely... or text me, I don't really care.x_

  After debating himself, Louis texted a simple "hey" to the number, no doubt it was Zayn.

   **from Z**

**U do have the guts, Louis**

   Louis rolled his eyes at the text. He wanted to see Zayn in person so he could deliver a nice bitch-slap to his stupidly handsome face. Instead, he replies.

   **to Z**

   **Pls tell me you're Zayn, the cocky douche bag whom I've met about three times now**

**from Z**

**im a douche bag now? I doubt you'll call me that in bed ;)**

   _Yup, definitely Zayn_ , Louis found himself smiling for some unknown reason.

  The two of the end of texting for rest of the night, arranging a lunch date for the coming Sunday.

 

-

 

   August heat went by fast and it was the first day of uni for Louis. Jay cried in the morning, before she left so Louis could live a proper uni life at the dorm and whatnot. ("Whatnot" being stupid parties and getting pissed at the local bars, of course.) Louis' roommate looked nice, who'd introduced himself as Liam the night before, and he was a first-year uni student as well.

  "So, is he your boyfriend?" Louis spluttered his morning coffee when Zayn came over to him, planting a chaste too-close-to-lips kiss on his cheek. "Or not."

  "See you around, babes," Zayn gave a very possessive shoulder-hug to Louis before bounding off to his first lecture. Louis' was at ten so that was why he was hanging out with Liam. 

  "He's not my boyfriend... just really close friend."  _Who's a cocky son of a bitch I want to ride, yup._  He adds silently. "What makes you think that?"

  "Acting couple-y. And since my Mechanic Physics is in ten minutes, I'm gonna go run for it."

   _Maybe it isn't that one way..._

  Louis' first-ever university class was, wait for it, History of Theatrics. Ever since he was in secondary school, Louis delved in the arts of acting so yeah, this only seemed appropriate. Since his Theatre prof from his local college wrote him a letter of recommendation, he didn't have to audition for a spot in the class. Apparently, whether it was a theories class or not, you still need to prove you can act.

  The professor, whose square-rimmed glasses gave her a mean look, was quite okay, other than the fact she picked on him for having the horrors of sitting in the front row. Or maybe because he's name was French and easy to remember. Whatever.

  He texted Zayn so they could eat together.

  Liam, being the good-hearted person he was, decided to tag along with a friend. The new bloke was ginger with curly locks, with his arms covered in tattoos.

  "I'm Ed," he introduced himself as Zayn slid in next to Louis. "Majoring in Songwriting and Vocals, mate."

  "Awesome. Arts: Sketching and Painting and Sculptures here," Zayn took a bite out of Louis' egg roll. "Do I know you though, Ed?"

  "We went to same primary school. I'm surprised you even remember me."

  The lunch went swimmingly, sharing how horrible their professors were and how the first classes went was really easy to talk about. Their lunch break was only forty-five minutes long so Ed excused himself so he could go to his Concert Band class. 

  "Well, I haven't any afternoon classes," Zayn announced, looking directly at Louis. "You?"

  "One at half-one and that's it."

  "And Liam?"

  "Two, but they're both short."

  "Good, 'cos we're both going to Silver Night." Zayn gave a promising look to his friends.

 

-

 

  Zayn wasn't kidding about going to the club on the very first day of university. Yeah, they got lucky that none of the three had classes on the following day but Zayn was anything but insistent. He rambled about how the club was new and they can find people to fuck. (Literal words.) Poor Liam looked terrified but Zayn threatened to expose the video of him singing Bieber's "Baby". (Zayn and his connections, Louis wonders if he'd footage of him singing "Te Amo".)

  So at half-nine, all of them were dressed to impress. Zayn in his tight black skinnys, black Ramones shirt topped by his black bike jacket, Liam with his dark skinnys and a mesh top, and of course Louis had to wear his red chinos and a simple white tee. 

  "Let's go, fuckers," Zayn stage-whispered as the bouncer let them through. Good thing they could sport stubble as normal nineteen-year-olds.

  Zayn dragged both of them to the counter, where a white blond chick whose green eyes were caked with makeup and had half her tits on display was serving. Her eyes raked up and down Zayn's form when he was in sight.

  "We'll have a dozen of tequila shots, mixed with vodka please," Zayn ordered in his most-seductive tone, which Louis hated.  _He_ should be the one Zayn flirted with. "And a pretty girl too."

  It took about half hour of drinks to get Louis absolutely wasted, and he had to take Zayn to the dance floor. He didn't reject, he just took Louis' offered hand and got to the area. Once they were there, Louis turned around, pressing his bum to Zayn's dick. He ground his arse to the beat of "S&M" by Rihanna, reaching his arms back to cage them around Zayn's midsection. Zayn reciprocates the action, wrapping his inked arms around his waist, his hands rested close to his crotch as they were on his hips. Breathless, he craned his head, not having expected to see Zayn was leant in as well.

  "I'm gonna kiss you," Zayn warned literally one second before crashing their lips together. This was nothing like their first kiss at Niall's, Louis notes, where they had been both high from a drug. Sure, they were intoxicated but you act out what's your hidden desire whilst drunk yeah?

  They kissed sloppily, all tongue with practically no lips, for the duration of Jason Derulo's infamous "Talk Dirty". After the song ended, Zayn pulled away from the kiss, smirking like a madman.

  "Gonna grab a smoke, Coming?" Louis shook his head.

  They hail a cab after two in the morning, with Liam barely drunk, and both Zayn and Louis giggling at everything around them. Liam actually had to carry Louis to their dorm, embarrassingly enough, and he mumbled a quick "goodnight" to Zayn.

  When Louis woke up in the morning, he had a hangover and Liam was expecting this. He just gave him a pill for the splitting headache and just watched Louis as he did his Algebra homework.

  Louis wasn't really in mood for homework so he texted Zayn, greeted with "fuck off". He guessed that Zayn was as hungover as he so he made a way to the other's room.

  As per expected, the tanned Bradford native was sprawled out in the bed, his roommate gone to his classes, and he flipped him off when he entered. 

  "There, there," Louis cooed at his friend, patting his back. "Louis is here now!"

  "I don't fancy rubbing your back as you hurl, ew," Zayn's retort was muffled by the pillow he was trying to suffocate himself with. "And how'd you get here?"

  "This isn't some rich girl's private university, love. You can't lock the doors around here," he was answered by a groan. "If you're going to groan all day, you might want to see a shrink. Signs of depression, mate."

  That was the first time.

  The first time Zayn glared at Louis before slapping him across his face. It was quick, like Zayn didn't want anyone to tell him around what he should do.

  "Don't," he held Louis' wrists in his large hands, pressing up against the bed. Under different circumstances, he would have liked it. "Ever tell me what I should do even as a joke."

  "I won't," Louis squeaked out, mostly due to fear. Where was the Zayn who was carefree and wanted to snog after finishing a fag?

 

-

 

  Two months go by and Louis saw more of the darker side of Zayn.

  Like how he'd yell at Louis for putting his sketch book at the wrong side of desk or losing the bookmark for his  _Pride and Prejudice_  book. Each time Louis upset Zayn, he'd strike, then apologise with "I'm sorry's" and kisses.

  So it was really surprising even for Louis when - right after the Christmas break started on 19th - it was two days before Louis' nineteenth birthday and Zayn told they were going on a date.

  Like, a  _date_  date. 

  Louis wore his famous red chinos, with a white shirt with the slogan "Gotta Try It To Like It" and was selecting his TOMS when someone knocked on his door. Since Liam was out with Dani-  _finally_  - it could only be Zayn. Louis slips on a matching red chinos and grabs his red varsity jacket before answering the door.

  "Looking fabulous, love," Zayn planted a soft, yet lingering kiss on the top of his head.

  Zayn was dressed in his black skinnys, white t-shirt with a pair of silver wings in the middle, topped by his favourite black leather jacket. He was wearing black VANS, making him look like a vampire from one of those vampire flicks.

  Zayn gave him directions to the restaurant, since he didn't drive, and it took about twenty minutes with the heavy traffic.

  "Reservation for Zayn Malik?" He told the host when they got in. The interior was very sophisticated, with plain black wall and silver furniture. The ginger host took them to a table in the middle, flashing Louis an extra warm smile. 

  Zayn didn't like that, pulling Louis closer to his body. The scent of cologne permeated into Louis senses but he was used to this by now. The table was round, with cream-coloured cover and really fancy looking forks and knives were placed on dark red tissues.

  "This could cost a fortune!" Louis exclaimed as the server left after giving them their menus. "How are you going to afford this?"

  "I kinda forgot to mention but my dad is a successful businessman. Has about three hundred people working for him," Zayn stuck his tongue out, like a kid, and grins his cocky grin. "So no sweats, I get about eight thousand quids a month as allowance."

  "Holy shite, you're rich?"

  "My dad's rich but yeah," he shrugged off like it was no big deal. "Be a dear, and close your mouth and pick your order. Really, this is like buying close to nothing."

  It was a fancy Italian restaurant so Louis decided to go with a pasta he couldn't really pronounce. Zayn goes with a risotto.

  About ten minutes into the time they were waiting for their foods, Louis got a text from Niall.

**from Leprechaun**

**got his dick yet? x**

**to Leprechaun**

**u are so perverted, go suck off Harry please.x**

**from Leprechaun**

**Hi, this is Harry and guess what Ni-Ni is doing for me rn?**

  Louis dropped his phone. He actually dropped his phone on the table, earning a curious/WTF look from Zayn.

  "Niall," he utters the word out, earning a "ah" from Zayn. "I can't believe he texted me whilst blowing Harry."

  "You know him; no boundaries."

  Thankfully, their foods arrived so Louis was spared from elaborating on what they were talking about.

  Louis grabbed his jacket after the meal but Zayn stopped him, saying they have to get the dessert. 

  "The gelato here is simply god-sent!" Zayn insisted, so Louis grumbled, mumbling his yes.

  Zayn suggested splitting caramel dulce and Louis being Louis, he just agreed.

  He  _definitely_  wasn't prepared for what Zayn had in stock.

  The dessert came in an oval-shaped bowl, with the heart-shaped sprinkles spelling out  _"Louis Tomlinson, will you do me the honours and become my boyfriend?"_

  He squealed, embarrassingly, and yelped out his "hell yes!" People around them guesses what happened and just broke into rounds of applause. Louis leant over the table and planted a sloppy kiss to Zayn's lips.

 

_

 

  Things progressed from that point.

  Kinda.

  With the title of Zayn's boyfriend, he was hoping the physical stuff with Zayn would lessen and it did in a degree. In the heat of moment, when Zayn was about to strike, Louis learnt to kiss him and make him think of other things.

  Right now, they were both sat in the sofa - well, they were cuddling - with some romance movie on the telly. Louis stroked Zayn's product-free hair lovingly, giving him a kiss to his face every now and then. Zayn just waved him away, unable to hide the grin that spread over his face.

  "That's  _so_  cliché!" Louis exclaimed when the main girl kissed the guy, drunk, in a party, then slept with him. "Like, that's in the book of  _Stupid Things To Do Whilst Pissed_."

  "Our first kiss was at a party, after taking a hit fro the pot," Zayn hissed out, then moved to punch him on the stomach. Louis just groaned, knowing he just had to take it like a man. "Let's just watch the movie."

  They just stared at the movie in silent, until the guy who was crushing on the main girl hooked up with a random bloke at a bar. Really?

  "Well, that was something," Louis commented as Zayn slid his hand under his shirt, feeling his flat stomach. "Zayn, love, what are you doing?"

  "Entertaining myself since the film on the telly was horrible," he flipped them over so Louis' back was pressed to the sofa in the common room of their wing. "Tell me, Louis. Who else before me saw your gorgeous bum?"

  "A couple people..." Louis felt self-conscious. Yeah, his boyfriends and girlfriends before Zayn (okay, two boyfriends and one girlfriend) complimented him on roundness of his bum but he didn't really believe it himself. "Anyone can walk in on us, Zayn!"

  "It's half past one on a Friday night, love," his boyfriend nuzzled his neck with his nose, tickling him. "C'mon, be a thrill seeker for once."

   They've been together for two weeks, yeah, but Louis had sex with a boy only once, and that boy broke up with him four days later, saying Louis wasn't satisfying enough. He was afraid of being a horrible boyfriend after they'd sex so he'd been holding out on sex with Zayn.

  "I'm... um..." Louis couldn't think straight with Zayn's hand rubbing close to his crotch, which soon moved over to his nipple and gave it a light pinch. He yelped out, from pleasurable pain and bucked his hips up. Which, incidentally, made their dicks rub against each other through their pyjama bottoms. "Fuck, Zayn."

  "That's what I intend to do but I prefer the term 'making love'." Zayn shucks their shirts of effortlessly, exposing his yummy looking barely-there abs. "You look so hot without the shirt on. Hotter," he corrects himself. "Fuck, can I blow you first?"

  "Fuck.. I mean yeah," Louis felt his eyes widening. His ex-girlfriend blew him once but that was when he was sixteen, over three years ago. Well, now would be a good time to have someone's mouth on his prick again.

  Zayn didn't hesitate before lowering himself, shuffling down until his face was level with Louis' raging erection. He undid the buttons with his teeth and pulled his trousers down. He regretted his choice of going commando because having his dick slapping his own stomach like that kind of embarrassed him. Zayn didn't mind that. He just kitten-licked at the slit on the head of his length, garnering a choked whimper from him. Zayn smirked, Louis knew he was, before wrapping his entire lips around the head. And God, that was something he'd been missing all along. The way Zayn flicked his tongue against the underside of his dick should be illegal. His strong hands held Louis down, preventing him from moving. He sank down on his length, and Louis's never seen a sight so erotic before. Louis let out a litany of curses from how good it feels. (Mostly because it'd been a while since the last time someone blew him.) Soon, Zayn began to bob his head up and down, occasionally tonguing at the slit in the head of his cock and yeah, it felt so fucking heavenly. It didn't take long before Louis released down Zayn's throat, who looked up at him as he swallowed.

  "Fuck..." Louis repeated himself, breathless after a mind-blowing orgasm. Having a wank didn't really - or rather,  _couldn't -_ compare to what Zayn's lips were capable of doing. "That was fucking awesome."

  "Please tell me you'd a blow before," Zayn joked as he slithered back up his body, his still-clad crotch tight against his. Louis felt his prick hardening again with Zayn's hard-on pressing onto him.

  "I'm nineteen, you twat. Of course I'd mouths on my dick before," Louis had half a mind to shove Zayn off of him. There was no way in hell he was gonna have sex with his boyfriend if he insulted him. "So you have to raise the bar a little." Louis lied about the last part.

  "I'm always the best at what I do, babe," Zayn's voice dropped an octave, dangerously seductive and gravelly. "I needn't prove myself."

  Louis always knew he liked being man-handled but the way Zayn did it was sinful. He just pinned him under his (sexy) body and started grinding his hardening dick against his own, causing him to moan at the friction. It wasn't fair Zayn was still mostly dressed. As if hearing his thoughts, Zayn started stripping his clothes off, well, his really tight jeans. No pants - commando was a hot look on him.

  "Bet you bottom for everyone, don't you?" Zayn leant down to whisper in Louis' ear, his tone a low purr. "You've an arse that's begging to be pounded."

  Zayn reached his jeans pocket and produced a packet of lube and a condom. Why he had those in the first place, Louis had to ask later. Zayn slicked up his fingers and without asking, other than raising a brow, he pushed a finger in. Now, Louis hadn't gay sex in a while - maybe a year? - so the stretch was quite a lot.

  He knew it'd be nothing compared to Zayn's dick, since the width was quite obviously thick.

  Zayn added another finger in, scissoring him out with his lean, tapers fingers and soon, the third one joined. Occasionally, the tips would brush against his Louis' prostate, making him whimper from pleasure.

  After a while - who knew Zayn could be so gentle? - Zayn pulled his fingers out, rolled the condom on, applied lube, and positioned himself at Louis' bum hole. Louis gave his boyfriend a shaky nod, with which Zayn slowly started easing into him. Louis clawed at the seat of the sofa, being stretched out by something - some _one_ so large painful at first. His unforgiving tears started forming in his celestial blue eyes. Zayn surprised him by kissing them away, cooing at him. Whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Louis inclined his head, giving Zayn a silent cue to start moving.

  So he did. Zayn began to thrust into him at a slow, measured pace, letting Louis know he didn't want to hurt him more than necessary. But Louis didn't want that. He wanted to be destroyed by Zayn (more). So he locked his ankles behind Zayn's back and dug the heels of his feet into his bum, urging him to go faster. 

  Something inside Zayn must've snapped because he increased the pace, sound of skin slapping skin loud in the otherwise quiet common room. Zayn grunted, telling Louis his boyfriend was close to coming. He, too, was close, with Zayn nailing his prostate with every other stroke. He moved his hand to his dick, wanting to jerk himself off but Zayn slapped his hand away, shaking his head "no". Before Louis could form protests, Zayn threw his legs over his own shoulders, then thrust into him hard, going even deeper. Louis let out broken moans, hopelessly being dominated by his boyfriend. It didn't take long after that for the both of them to reach their high simultaneously.

  Zayn pulled out and kissed Louis' nose, mumbling  _"mein tumse pyaar karta hoon"_ as Louis drifted off to sleep. The last thing on Louis' mind was Zayn telling him of his divided heritage.

 

-

 

  Next morning, thankfully before noon so no one walked in on them naked, Louis woke up before Zayn. Asleep, Zayn looked like a being of perfection, like an angel who was sent from above to guard the people.

  But in reality, Zayn was more of an angel of destruction.

  "What is it about you that makes me still care? Even though you mistreat me?" Louis dipped his head down and nudged his boyfriend's nose with his own. "Why do you make me love you?"

  Louis cursed himself inside his head at the confession. Did he just admit it out loud? He panicked when Zayn stirred, then opened his hazel/dark amber eyes, blinking in confusion.

  "Morning, Lou." He stretched, then bent over to pick up his clothes.

  Louis sighed in relief, assuming Zayn didn't hear the big L word.

  "Quite some words there, Tomlinson,"  _oh shit._ "and it's a good thing I love you too, idiot." Zayn simply dropped his clothes back on the floor to kiss Louis deeply. He pulled away after a while, redressing himself. He picked up Louis' shirt and practically shoved the fabric over his head.

  "Breakfast?"

  After ten minutes of more snogging, Louis and Zayn headed downstairs to the dining area, hand-in-hand. No-one said anything about the couple. (Mostly because of Zayn's rep only after three months, Louis reckons. He had the aura of a badass guy who'd've kicked your arse.) Louis just rubbed at his neck, where he was sporting a new hickey from Zayn from the snogging session. He really needed to stock up on concealers.

  "Lovebirds," Liam snorted as soon as he caught the sight of his roommate - who couldn't possibly qualified as one since Louis spent all day at Zayn's single room. Liam was sort of still infatuated with Danielle, a lovely dancer, and the curly haired girl wasn't oblivious to it. "Please tell me that's not a jizz stain on Louis' shirt."

  "I've corrupted you," Louis ruffled Liam's hair like he'd do a younger sibling. "He said 'jizz'!" 

  "I can say whatever word that pops into my head!" Liam flailed around in Louis' grip. Yeah, Liam was a fit bloke but Louis had the upperhand when it came to upper-body strength due to the chin-ups he did at night. "And let me go, tosser. I'll break your legs."

  "I'll return the favour." There was no missing the dark threat in Zayn's voice and Liam backed away from Louis, his eyes wide from fright. Yeah, Zayn really needed to cool off with the possessive protectiveness.

  "Chill the fuck down, Zayn," Louis swayed his hips to the side, hands clasped around them, looking his most defiant.

  He didn't know how Zayn would have reacted to that in public, that was all.

  Zayn just strode forward and gripped Louis' jaw, forcible enough to crack a couple muscles, and craned his head to the side. He leant in and whispered "come to my room after breakfast, you sorry little bitch. I'll show you who owns you."

 Louis hadn't a choice, you see. He was used to obeying everyone so after a couple sausages, scrambled eggs, and three slices of French toasts, he just trotted up to Zayn's room, where he waited naked. Zayn wasn't a guy you could just mess with. He looked like a perfect lovechild of the Devil so the smouldering gaze in Zayn's dark amber eyes was... Horror.

  Bloodcurdling.

  Enticing.

  Controlling.

  "Come here, Louis." The tone was soft, but much in a way an owner would call his runaway dog. 

  "Yes... Zayn," Louis adopted a submissive tone, walking towards Zayn with his shoulders slouched, head hung low. Hell, he was just a bitch with great arse! "What did I do wrong, babe?"

  "You see, love," Zayn reached over and took hold of the back of Louis' head and forced him down, his mouth landing where the other's dick was. "No one just flips me off and gets away with it. I'll show you how I punish bad boys."

 

-

 

  Zayn's definition of 'punishment' differed from Louis', you see. Instead of rough sex, followed by makeup kisses, Louis found himself cuffed to Zayn's double bed, wrists bound above his head, ankles bound to the end of the bedframe. Yeah, not a way to start the day. (Fuck no.)

  "I really am displeased with you, babe," Zayn slapped a pink object in his palm. Louis' eyes bulged out of their sockets when he realised those were anal beads, the kinds that are designed to vibrate against your prostate. "So I'll have this quick."

  Louis flinched when the first bead entered him. He wasn't even prepped to begin with! Zayn just pushed the toy in, without any warnings. Of course, in the retrospect, it was pretty damn hot. He turned the thing on when the fourth bead was pushed in, and God, having something vibrate against your prostate should be illegal.

  "Will you ever defy me again, pet?" Zayn cooed in his ear, hand clasped around his neck loosely. "This is just the beginning, you know..."

  "I promise," Louis choked out. "I promise to be good."

 

-

 

  It was Christmas - thank the Lord above - and of course Niall threw his annual Christmas Blow Off Party (fuck him, really) and both Louis and Zayn were invited. They were told to bring guests so naturally, they chose Liam.

  When Louis found Niall, he was lip-locked with Harry, disgustingly pressed closely together. And nope, the boner Louis was developing wasn't comfortable. It was a semi but Zayn chose that precise moment to grab his dick and lean in, whispering "I know a way to the guest room... wanna go at it?"

  What Louis forgot to tell Zayn was that his birthday was the day before. He never was the person to get a birthday sex (or blow) but Zayn just dragged him off.

  "I forgot..." Zayn pressed a chaste, but longing, kiss to Louis' flat stomach, his eyes darkened from desires. "Happy birthday."

  Louis really wished he knew how Zayn got hold of such things. Was money involved?

  "How'd..? I never-"

  "Harry told me." 

  Now Zayn's hand was over his dick, the rough thumb-pad smearing the pre-cum all over the bulbous head. Louis held back a moan - barely - and God, Zayn should be a fallen angel who lusted after him. Only him.

  "I get my birthday lay?"

 

-

 

  Louis was wrong.

   _Dead_ _wrong._

  Zayn never joked about not having to prove himself because right now, he was experiencing his third orgasm of the night.

  "Fuuuuuuck," Louis groaned the moment Zayn pulled his fingers out, wet from the slick and saliva. (What can he say. Sucking on fingers sure as hell turns a lot of people on.) "I don't think I can come anymore."

  "I blew you first thing," Zayn folded one finger. "Then I rimmed you, minus the fingers, you prat." Another goes down. "And now this. You really are a submissive, babe. I can go on forever just looking at that luscious arse. Fuck that,  _tapping_ it for all eternity."

  Zayn flipped him over,  _screw his sore body_ , and he just nipped at the buttocks, like they were meant to be touched like that. Louis mewled at the new feeling. He was used to Zayn biting him in the neck, chest, close to his dick but  _never_ his arse. It was thought to be... more arousing and erotic. Zayn was oblivious to his thoughts, biting and licking at the contour of his arse and fuck, maybe that was what he was missing all along.

  "Just fuck me proper already," Louis wiggled his arse, growing impatient. "It was my birthday last night and you had to be a prick to for-"

  It wasn't spanking. The force Zayn slapped his arse couldn't be defined as 'spanking' under any circumstances. 

  Zayn, the fucking fallen angel in Louis' life, forced him into an upright position. Hell, it was forced, alright, with the fingers squeezing the air out of his lungs. All Louis could do was whimper like a kicked bitch, licking at its owner for lost love.

  "You little bitch," the voice was rough and scathing to Louis' ears. "How dare you order me around? Have you forgotten who owns you? Your fucking entire body? Darling," Zayn's hand - the free one - wrapped itself around Louis' hard-again dick, giving him a few strokes. "I can fuck you all night long, until your voice is hoarse and isn't there anymore." He slid in, the burn too much without any prep. Fucking shitting hell, Louis was actually crying from the hurt senses. It was enjoyable, yes, but Zayn wasn't moving at all. "It's your birthday, I know, but I'm still very much in control." Couple of teasing strokes, purposefully missing his prostate, had Louis on the verge, his lips agape, and he cried out from frustration. "I'll make you feel good, baby."

  Louis bit his lower lip, nodding his head, as Zayn pumped his dick to full hardness. This was a bad position - Louis with his back against the headboard, his legs spread wide, and back arched from all the foreplay. No, there wasn't an inch in his body that craved for Zayn to destroy him.

  And he did.

  Zayn started thrusting -  _no,_ slamming _-_ into his tight heat, making Louis gasp out a breath. It hurt, it bloody hurt that Zayn had this sort of power over him and that he let himself be used like this. He couldn't hold back; he couldn't hold back the loud moans that seemed to ricochet off the walls, nor his body trembling from anticipation. Zayn didn't have to coax the bliss from him. He came untouched, just let out a whine, spurting in long streams. He was too sensitive, he just fucking came, but Zayn hadn't his high yet. He laid still as Zayn continued to plow into him, his dick hard again -  _fuck no._  

  "I love it like this, fuck," Zayn panted against his neck, nibbling and licking at the soft skin. "I'd keep you forever if there was a way."

  Zayn came rushed, he could feel it, clamping his teeth down into the flesh. Louis had so many lovebites like this, just from Zayn orgasming and reacting in such way, so he was used to this.

  Zayn pulled out, then cocooned Louis' body with his own. Tanned skin against paler, chest to back, forehead to shoulder.

  Things couldn't be more perfect in Louis' corrupted mind.

 

-

 

   Louis woke up to sunrays hitting his forehead.

   Wait.

  _Sunray?_ Louis wondered for a moment if he died and went to heaven.  _Sunlight in England when it's a gloomy winter?_

  He pinched his own arse and nopers, this ain't no dream.

  Of course, when he tried to move his arm, there was the familiar weight of Zayn atop his. Really, this was something Louis got used to seeing now. The five o'clock shadow on his boyfriend's jawline, how his long eyelashes created shadows over the defined cheekbones and fuck. He really was hard just from thinking about Zayn.

  "Morning to you too."

  This was the thing with Zayn. See, he always woke up when Louis did, like he had an alarm clock attuned to his wakefulness. If there was an off-button, Louis would be the first to smash it.

  "I'm not having morning sex with you!" Louis squealed when he felt a hand closing around his dick. "I didn't even brush my teeth!"

  "Fine, but I'm having a smoke."

  Soon, the pungent odour of marijuana filled the small room and a lightbulb went off Louis' head.

  "Zayn," he nudged at Zayn's thighs, parting them a bit. "Let me blow you whilst you smoke."

  Zayn just looked down at Louis like he just grew boobs. Did his boyfriend of two months (and half) just offer a high-as-fuck blowjob?

  "You can just shotgun me, yeah," Louis sounded so doped out already. The thought of pleasing Zayn was always a turn on for him. "Fucking fuck my mouth so I can be fucked by your dick."

  So three minutes later, Louis felt so  _heightened._  He was high up in the clouds, like he ruled the world. There was nothing to stop him from - 

  Shit.

  Zayn chose that exact moment to thrust his hips up, dislodging his thick, vein-y cock up Louis' talented mouth. He learnt to null his gag-reflex so Louis just hummed around his mouthful, sinking down until Zayn's balls were prodded to his nose. Louis was a sub, everyone knew that, so he swallowed around his boyfriend's head, garnering a loud groan from him. He got a pat on the back of his head, letting him know this was really okay with Zayn.

  "Fuck, your mouth is so hot," Zayn moaned with his eyes closed, his hand fisted in Louis' soft bronze locks. "Next time, I'm going to get myself a cock ring so I can enjoy your mouth a bit longer."

  Louis didn't know it was possible but he was harder than ever, Zayn's load shot down his throat. He wiped at this chin, some of the release dripping from the corner of his mouth. Zayn squeezed his jaw and made him look into his dark amber eyes. Louis didn't mind.

  "I love you so much, pet," Zayn cooed, his thumb brushing over Louis' swollen lips. "Come sit on my lap now."

 

-

 

  Louis had to get Zayn a fucking dictionary, it was so inevitable.

  When Zayn had said "sit on my lap", he meant "ride my dick like you mean it, babe".

  So here he was, his arse cheeks rested against the skinny thighs of Zayn, and he was fucking exhausted. Zayn's arms were tightly wrapped around his waist, too lazy to do anything else. He just looked up at him with lust in his dark amber depths, signalling him to move.

  Louis was good at following orders, and he hated angering his boyfriend.

  Ten minutes into the lovemaking session, Louis cursed out loud. Zayn finally had some energy to fuck up into him, his tip nailing his prostate effortlessly, relentlessly. 

  Louis came with a sighed moan, his face scrunched up from the oversensitive feeling. Zayn just kept thrusting into him until he shot his load deep inside him, with a whispered "Louis!"

 

-

 

  It was New Year's Eve and Louis was at Zayn's house.

  The Malik House.

  Doniya, Zayn's older sister, looked so happy to finally see Zayn's latest lad love. She just indulged everything, smiling like Louis was some kind of lost puppy she took interest in. She also gave off the air of fearing Zayn so Louis figured out that Zayn was quite... Dominating.

  "Welcome to our humble abode," Zayn kissed Louis on the cheek sloppily as they walked through the ginormous gate. (Doniya got the call saying Zayn was stopping by so she was outside the house.) The 'humble abode' was at least 20 acres just the front garden area and the house? Louis was no architect but he could tell it was at least 150 acres.

  "Please don't comment on the... housemaids..."

  Louis felt his jaw hitting the ground. Who has housemaids in two-thousand-fucking-fourteen? This had to be a joke.

  It wasn't though.

  The moment Louis, Zayn and Doniya walked through the front doors, two girls - around the age of seventeen or eighteen - rushed forward to collect their coats and they hung those over mahogany coat hanger. (How richer can you get?) Well, at least Louis thought it was mahogany. He was never a fan of woodwork.

  "Zaaaayyyn," a little voice whined out, presumably Zayn's younger sister. "Wali stole my bracelet!"

  "For the last time," a girl dressed in half-sleeve, topaz blue dress emerged from the long hallway Louis failed to detect before. " _Amma_ gave it to me so I can wear it; I simply lent it to you a couple of times."

  "That's a lie!" The smaller girl pouts, dressed in princess-pink dress that was on the puffy side. "She said it was mine!"

  Zayn laughed, a sound Louis was unused to, and picked up the youngest of them and planted a kiss to the top of her head. "Saf, baby girl, why don't you say hi to Louis?"

  "Hi!" Saf, who Louis knew as Safaa from Zayn's story about his sisters, waved her little hand and giggled. "There's a mark on his neck! Did you hurt him?"

  "Zayn, answer that question and I'll castrate you," Waliyah threatened Zayn halfheartedly, which Louis scoffed at. Telling a thirteen-year-old girl that two people shag wasn't a crime in these days. "I'm serious!"

  "And I'll tell our father about the adventures you'd with your current boyfriend."

  That effectively shut Waliyah up. Louis would, too, if someone threatened to divulge half the things he'd with Zayn...

  "Father said to greet Louis and you're right, Zayn," Waliyah took a glance at his arse, a custom Louis really hated when he met new people. "He does have an arse of a bottom."

  "Waliyah!" Zayn shot a warning glance at his middle sister. "I told you not to say things like that!"

  "But look at his arse! It's so round and firm. Bet you know more of it." Waliyah wiggles her well-shaped brows.

  "Moving on..."

  The dinner was a four-course French meal, cooked by a Parisien chef Mr Malik personally hired. Louis knew that he's a bit of French blood (since he's 1/8 Belgian, he suspects there was a drop of French blood somewhere) but he never thought he'd be eating a real, proper French meal, cooked by a Frenchman. (Okay, those two have nothing to do with each other, he just wanted to say that.) Monsieur LeFebevre explained in simple English that the appetiser,  _entrée,_ was usually cheese, followed by the main course,  _hors d'oeuvre,_ which could be any one of meat, fish or poultry. He opted for a spicy chicken dish, and some other things Louis didn't know.

  After the dinner, he was proper stuffed and the cheesecake they'd as dessert was just the tip of the iceberg.

  "Zayn, care to lead me to your room?" Louis ignored the catcalls from Waliyah. "I think I need to used the loo."

  "Of course, babe."

 

-

 

  "Fuck, they can hear us..." Louis groused as Zayn entered a third finger inside of him, lubed with the emergency packet Zayn always carried with him. "Safaa is too young for, SHIT!" Zayn's fingers located Louis' bundle of nerves, probing them precariously. 

  "You were saying?" Zayn pulled his fingers out and used the remainder of the slick to apply them on his hardened cock. Really, Louis could never get used to the sight of Zayn about to fuck him into the oblivion.

  The first push was pure torture. Zayn knew this. He knew that pushing in with minimum force and barely prodding at his prostate was really not Louis' thing. He just smirked down at Louis, fully sheathed, and captured his lips into a scorching kiss. It was like Zayn was trying to memorise his lips, how he tasted like, plus other things. Zayn pulled out almost completely before pushing back in with so much force, Louis yelped and bit Zayn's lower lips, hard enough to draw blood. It only seemed to spur Zayn on, because he redoubled his thrusts, fucking into his prostate with every stroke.

  If there was Heaven, this was it.

 

-

 

  This wasn't heaven at all, nope.

  Louis' entire body feels like a fucking tow-truck that's been fully loaded ran over him, and backed a couple times to make sure he stayed dead. 

  Not to mention his arse felt like he couldn't sit on it for his entire remainder of his life.

  "Morning, babe," Zayn was currently kissing a trail from his jaw to his neck, his scuffle tickling his sensitive skin. "Slept well?"

  "Considering I can't feel a damn thing unlike my dream, yeah, I'd say so," Louis huffed out a breath. He felt like a child but he can't even move his pinky without his entire side burning. "Could you be more rough? Make sure I'm dead?"

  "You look so fuckable like that, in the mornings. Your hair tousled," Zayn reached out with his hand, and Louis flinched, fearing his lover might strike him; Zayn only stroked his hair. "Your lips swollen from last night," Zayn's soft fingertips trace the seams of Louis' lips. "But most of all, your eyes. They tell me you love me."

 

-

 

  The new semester, spring semester as they called it, started in mid-January. 

  Definition of mid-January: Zayn's birthday.

  Louis had a shitty job at Diablo, which is a shabby bar/restaurant near the Cambridge uni. He worked double-shift every weekend (Friday included) and still, he only had two thousand quids in his saving account.

  He knew what he was getting for Zayn, yes, but it was quite pricey.

  Unless he got into prostitution within next few days, he wouldn't be able to pay for the Marvels Memorabilia set, about fifteen hundred pounds. (He still needs leftover money for his  _personal_  necessities.)

  "Need help with something?"

  The thing was, Louis hated getting help so when the tall, lanky DJ-to-be student like Nick just called him out to help him with the last Friday before DJ-ing, he just had to say no.

  "Fuck off, I needn't your help with anything!"

  "Lie," Nick flicked the ember off his fag. "Your the prized boyfriend of Malik's heir and you need couple hundred quids for the birthday gift you want for him. Haz told me."

  "Of course you know Harold," Louis feigned a sigh. "So you know anywhere I can just rake five hundred?"

  "Come to the first wing at midnight and I'll show ya."

 

-

 

  Louis hated crowded places.

  But he needed money...

  There came the saviour, in form of red button-down flannel and skinny jeans to tight Louis could see the outline of Nick's dick. (Ew.)

  "All you need to know is how to bet the right horse," Nick told Louis, his lips too close to his neck for his liking. "This is a replay of the afternoon's drag so only the owner knows the answer."

  Ten minutes later, Louis had about nine hundred pounds in cash, which was more than what he was hoping for. He thanked Nick and hurried back to his shared room with Liam.

  "Oh God, I never needed to see that!"

  What Louis meant by that was Liam naked in the room with his girlfriend, Danielle, about to get it on. Thankfully, Dani still had on her lacy black bra so he was spared from seeing her tits. She just mumbled a quick 'sorry' and sprinted out of the room. Now, Louis being Liam's roommate, he was used to seeing Liam's glorious dick. Heck, he walked into Liam tossing a couple times before.

  "You finally scored!" Louis grabbed Liam by his waist, ignoring the fact that the room smelt strongly of sex. "Congratufuckinglations!"

  "Louis, it was just a one-off," Liam was blushing. The Doncaster native needn't guess why. "We were at the bar and we hit it off. The end."

  "If it was a one-off, I advise you try harder."

 

-

 

  "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, YOU BLOODY WANKER!"

  Louis hated mornings but it was Zayn's birthday so he had to wake up early and prepare himself. By 'preparing', he totally meant getting into French maid costume, with his dick bare under the itchy skirt.

  "Oh my my," Zayn's first words were mumbled, like he couldn't believe the fact that Louis was dressed in such outfit, making his dick harder than ever. "Are you.."

  "This isn't the actual gift but I know you can't resist my arse," Louis twirled to let Zayn know he was naked under the costume. "Fuck me hard, daddy."

  Normally, Zayn thought of being called 'daddy' a huge turn-off but Louis' current state? Fuck, he needs to be inside Louis so bad.

  Zayn always slept naked so he cradled Louis into his lap and without any warning, other than a sudden launch forward to crash his lips upon Louis', he bottomed out instantly. Louis wasn't joking about not being able to sit for rest of his life 'cos the moment Zayn's wide head pressed into his bundle of nerves, he jumped from the pain shooting down his pain.

  But he liked it.

  He just rose up and down Zayn's dick like a good pet he was, panting with his lips agape, his eyes screwed shut from massive pleasure he was receiving. In this position, gravity pulled his body down more, making it possible for harder thrusts.

  Louis came too quick, with a shout of Zayn's name, and Zayn followed suit soon enough.

 

-

 

  Louis had been an idiot from the start. He was very aware of that.

  It had been three years since the faithful encounter at the drug store and both Louis and Zayn finished their degree.

  It was a peaceful afternoon and Zayn had a night-out with Harry and Niall, hence the drunkenness.

  Fuck.

  "You look so good in those chinos, but I think you'd look better out of them," Zayn slurred, his body slumped against a wall. "Le'me fuck you, Louiiiiis."

  "Stop it, you smell horrid and rank."

  Something snapped in Zayn and he delivered a low punch across Louis' jaw, making him reel backwards. Louis cursed from the pain, but Zayn didn't look like he was finished with his fit.

  Zayn continued to punch, slap, hit, whatever he could, Louis until he passed out from exhaustion.

  Louis cried until the first light of dawn.

 

-

 

  Zayn woke up well after two in the afternoon.

  Louis was curled up in the sofa, his eyes swollen from tears Zayn caused. In the light, even Zayn's tired eyes could see each bruise, each cut that Louis was sporting.

  "Who did this to you?"

  Louis bit his lower lip, unable to answer.

  "I'll change, Louis. I swear I'll change for you."

 

-

 

  It's been two years since Zayn had gotten admitted into the rehab.

  And half-year since he was released.

  Now, it was their fifth-year anniversary and they were at The Ivy's dressed in black suits.

  They'd their meals already but the server (whose tits were faker than Pam Anderson's) kept on insisting they get desserts.

  Louis wasn't expecting what was to happen.

  Just like how he was asked out all the years ago, Zayn used the dessert to ask a question; only this time, this was a permanent thing.

  The fruits on the cake spelt out ' _Louis William Tomlinson, my light, my love, my heart and my everything, it's been five wonderful years for me. Marry me and make me happier._ ' (In the retrospect, they were spelt with the tiniest blueberries on Earth.)

 

\-  

   _ **July 14th, 2019, present**_

 

  "ZAYN JAVADD MALIK, TELL ME YOU FUCKING DIDN'T."

  Naturally, the bastard himself walks down from the balcony from the third floor of the mansion he bought couple years ago. (But then again, couple years ago was our fucking wedding day so yeah.)

  "Babe, it's just-"

  "You bought a fucking Mercedes for our fifth anniversary that's not due for four entire months??"

  "I thought I stored the fucking thing in the shed you hadn't a clue about?" Zayn just sounds sleepy and given I blew him against the balcony merely twenty minutes ago, that's understandable. "It's a gift."

  "And I'm the best actor England has got!" Louis pouts.

  It's been three long years since Louis auditioned for some knock-off musical-movie as a supporting actor and things only went up. ("You're on the rollercoaster that's only going up, my friend." "Did you just quote _The Fault In Our Stars?_ ") So it's safe to say Louis can afford a fucking BMW if he wanted to.

  "I'm the wealthiest British businessman, maybe in the Top 10 in the entire world. I'm allowed to spoil my loving husband."

  Zayn changed his ways. He stopped smoking, he stopped drinking but most of all...

  He became the most gentle person Louis knows.

  Never in another million years would Louis cry because of his husband.

**Author's Note:**

> This was supposed to be a 3k-worded "drabble" but I just wanted to do more than just the whole I'm-in-an-abusive-relationship-I-must-commit thing. YOU'RE WELCOME FOR NOT KILLING ANYONE IN THIS ONE.


End file.
